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Related:Your partner’s exes can get inside your head—and they might just enjoy a few mimosas while they’re in there.
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Related:NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Governor Chris Christie, of New Jersey, called Donald J. Trump a “genius” on Monday for his controversial plan to burn down the White House to collect insurance money.
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Related:Governor Mike Pence was having a romantic dinner with the love of his life, Mrs. Mike Pence, at the Red Lobster in Times Square. The Governor knew that as Vice-President he would have to attend foreign banquets, so he and Mrs. Pence were trying to broaden their palates. Luckily, they had already found a couple of dishes at the Red Lobster which they liked. Governor Pence was saying a blessing over their chicken wings and mozzarella cheese sticks when the first three notes of “When I Survey the Wondrous Cross” chimed on his phone, signalling a text. As he read it, Mrs. Pence popped a sizzling cheese stick into her mouth and blew out little puffs of steam. “Look at me!” she said gaily. “I’m a steamboat!”
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Related:1. To recommend a schmaltzy romantic comedy because (given your viewing patterns and lack of a shared account) the odds are 92.3 per cent that you will watch it to completion and give it five stars.
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Related:Episode No. 1 “Come Out, Come Out, Wherever Thou Art”
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Related:Episode No. 1 “Come Out, Come Out, Wherever Thou Art”
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Related:1. It wasn’t Hillary up there; it was her body double, Helen Scaffler.
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Related:1. It wasn’t Hillary up there; it was her body double, Helen Scaffler.
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Related:Hi, Miranda,
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Related:DURHAM, N.H. (The Borowitz Report)—Asked at a town-hall meeting on Wednesday to name his favorite foreign leader, the Libertarian Presidential candidate Gary Johnson seemed stumped at first before finally responding, “Obi-Wan Kenobi.”
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